Rule #1 with Affinity Marketing: (that’s what you wanted to do, market WITH them) is do it all. No task list items for them. Asking them to decided where and who was one of three reasons this backfired. (Call me if you’d like to know the others.)

There is an effective system for asking clients for referrals outlined in Scott Kramnick’s book “Expecting Referrals.” It has 3 steps. Step 1 and Step 2 are the same, but it’s important not to skip Step 2, or, as you experienced, the result will be unsatisfactory. (Let me know if you’d like me to share the system here.)

Now the good news: you can start getting referrals from these clients again. Use 3-sentence stories that follow the P.A.R. formula.

This type of story works because [1] it is resonant, [2] it is focused on their friend’s result [3] it is short – 15 seconds.

Go make money – W!

For me, this reminds of when I offered to host a private celebratory dinner for one of my best client relationships. They initially jumped on the opportunity. But, when I asked themwhere they wanted to have it and who they wanted to invite, they started to get quiet on me.

They ultimately STOPPED referring new clients to me. They are still great clients, and our relationship has actually gotten stronger. But, apparently my private dinner suggestion crossed a line to them, ad they put up a concrete wall.

I don’t know if it was a lesson learned, or if there is more to that story below the surface. Regardless, it did make me a little hesitant to pull the trigger again…

I’m not sure I agree that this is common sense.

Referral systems have not been well trained in our society, so for many people the idea that using sales techniques in a referral situation should work would seem like common sense.

My mission: to let people know referrals are different than sales!
Join me?

You have made a case for something that is often overlooked in this hi tech world of ours….common sense!!! Too often we assume certain norms of behavior whether personal or business…loved the article! Enjoyed your workshop!!!

If we are so clear about our 17 characteristics that when we
are talking about our business we include them, people will
think of prospects for us … naturally … instead of feeling
PUSHED!

And, I agree with you – it IS contrary to what everyone else is doing.

And that is why I think that people don’t get more referrals.

I received an email last week from a guy I like, and underneath his short message, but above his sig file, in BIG RED letters, he’d put

I am never too busy for your referrals

So what does that mean? He’s fishing for compliments?
My mama taught me not to do that.
Does it mean he doesn’t really care about the message to me, only who I can refer to him?
(His message to me was in 12 point font, the red was 22 point.)
Does it mean he thinks, really, that I don’t know what he does,
and that I would, really, miss an opportunity to refer to him?
Really?
Not too complimentary about me – or him, for that matter.

Okay, now you take the other side!
Eagerly, W!

A couple of years ago I had the privilege of picking Sally Helgesen up at the airport. That drive time back to Buckhead is priceless! When she found out what I do she asked why her referral group wasn’t working – what consultant wouldn’t want to refer another consultant in, for work they weren’t going to get anyway, and get 10% of a $60-80K fee.

It appears the answer, from Sally’s perspective, is none. Their consortium of 8 hadn’t passed a single internal referral since making the standard fee agreement.

Interesting.
# Posted By Wendy L. Kinney | 9/8/08 10:19 PM